letter to a straight guy

Letter to a straight guy,

Hi there. I thought you could use some tips.

1. You don’t always have to remind me how you disagree with me. I get it, you’re religious. You believe marriage is only between a man and a woman. Got it. Gay is bad. Got it. I believe otherwise. Can’t we just stick with the stuff we agree on? I really do value our relation. But I won’t always stick around if I feel badgered.

2. Be confident in your sexuality. You like what you like. Nobody, even at point of duress, can reverse your attractions. That fact that you have a gay person among your friends or family does not diminish you, make you look gay, or mean you want to sleep with him. It means you have the self-identity strong enough to not be threatened by someone being different than you.

3. Yes you’re cute, but no I don’t want you so bad. Can’t we just have a regular friendship? Really, please get over yourself. 

4. If a person of whatever gender or sexuality pays you a compliment, just say thank you. No need to think anything more of it. “You’re handsome.” “Thank you kindly.” Smile. Maybe you’re not attracted to them. That’s okay. You’re gonna be okay.

5. A philosophical point: Being called sissy, girly, faggot, queer, soft, is not the end of the world. What do these intended slurs all have in common, besides the insecurity of the caster (and the society from which they spring)? They hate the feminine. Misogyny. To be associated with the feminine is not the end of the world. In fact, many embrace it as a secure part of their overall human composition, a man comfortable with both his masculine and feminine drives, if we are to call them that. Be secure enough, thoughtful enough, to be an advocate too of the non-traditional-patriarchal-masculine.  

6. You'll score lots of points making a little joke or light-hearted play, occasionally, from the gay point of view. Just yesterday a straight fellow classmate ordered ice-cream behind me, "Yeah, I'm paying for me and my boyfriend." It not only cracked me up, it showed his self-confidence, and endeared me and others to him. For a moment he viewed the world from my vantage point. 

Thank you for being my friend, father, brother, co-worker, male-majority, classmate, and therapist, 

Percy