I often want to write here, and getting to it is my biggest hurdle. Sometimes I want to journal or elucidate - and find that I am censoring myself. (Both a plus and a minus.) Connecting as a blogger and friend is also an energy. Here's a blog entry of no earth-shattering import, but significant in little shifts.
tai chi
I found a Tai Chi class two blocks from my home that has really spoken to me. I've looked into other practices nearby such as Masa African Dance, Ukulele Class, Yoga, Bikram Hot Yoga, Naked Yoga. They speak to me in different ways, or somehow fit or don't fit. But this Tai Chi class really resonates with me. I found myself very moved emotionally a couple of times while in certain poses. I know this as one of my body's truth-responses. Something ancient and archetypal. Perhaps something streaming through me. The instructor calls it chi.
One of the poses is called standing meditation. Except that it more resembles a standing fetus. The knees slightly bent, the arms squared forward, the hands limp and vertical. Shoulders slightly caved. When I got it right, with my eyes closed, it seemed like I was transported - floating in a dark womb - connected somehow to ancient Chinese ancestors gazing and participating with me.
Then last night we moved through various graceful stances, moving energy through our bodies with arms and hands. The one that got me is palms to the forhead and face, moving back over the head. Images of patriarchs blessing their posterity, and self-blessing, overwhelmed me. I'm glad I found this treasured practice. The instructor is a warm American man who travels to China regularly, and has a combination of technical combat-arts masculinity with spiritual insight sensitivity. Yeng - yang.
conducting
Dream occurences can signal significant or subtle shifts in a life journey. A few nights ago I was conducting a high school choir, enjoying it, the movement and skill of my hands, and delighted (and surprised) as the choir responded to my every conducting gesture.
This represents, perhaps, a creative/disciplined part of me that is responding and cooperating. It is a new dream. For years in my dreams classroom scenarios have often been a recurring nightmare of combativeness. Through a dreams psychologist of Jungian school of thought, I learned that the two parties represented, perhaps, the war between my creative impulsive side (the students), and the disciplined driver (the teacher). I learned to honor both, and give both of the energy and time in my life. Since then that recurring dream has morphed into other dreamscapes, I am no longer stuck there. So a dream where both parts - the creative impulsive students and the disciplined structured teacher - are working together in harmony is a new and significant dream. I trust that it represents a new emerging dance in my waking-world reality too.
a bear
A good friend that also keeps a dreams-journal dreams often with animal characters. And dreams books and courses are replete with animal appearance. So it was with initial dismay that I reflected that my dreams were devoid of animals. Perhaps I am too removed from nature, or too much of a city-dweller, or so domesticated that the wildness does not visit me even while asleep, I mused. Others invited me to let go of these judgements, and simply reflect, and be open to animals - especially undomesticated animals - thinking of them, noticing them and their appearances, even in my city life. Animals like the raven and a mouse visited my dreams.
Then last night a black bear. I was with two women in an outdoor home / retreat, getting out of a vehicle with others, and I saw a bear in the forest, and knew that it would be coming again. It was large and often stood up on its hind legs, dangerous and beautiful. I consider its appearance significant movement. Undomesticated beast, friend. In the tradition of this psychologist, the black bear is not to be avoided or killed. Though feared, it is to be heard. Perhaps it represents a part of me, or more literally, an agent of the dream world desiring to impart a wisdom. I am open and listening. Though much still remains a mystery, as in life in general, its appearance is new and meaningful.
No comments:
Post a Comment